


Beautiful Tonight

by Jinkisducklings



Series: Jjongsmonth [4]
Category: SHINee
Genre: Fluff, Jinki is nonbinary, Jonghyun is trans and pregnant, Nonbinary Character, Other, Trans Character, and Jonghyuns mom is a little shitty in this, anyway, as warning ya know, in the second chapter theres slight talk of being misgendered and the uncomfy feeling, slight angst, well the second chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 11:38:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16491860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jinkisducklings/pseuds/Jinkisducklings
Summary: It’s another late night and I’m taking you homeThe moon is big, it’s a full moonIf I let you go like this, I won’t be able to sleep for a while





	1. Chapter 1

           Jonghyun’s hand was small and cool to the touch curled up in theirs. The moon was high in the sky, the soft autumn breeze rolling through the small neighborhood, and the big hoodie was almost drowning his frame. The sleeve was bunched up just enough for Jinki to grab his hand, to keep it warm against their palm. They could have just borrowed Kibum’s car to take him home, but Jonghyun had wanted to walk, to have some fresh air. The moon was pretty he said, the breeze feels nice, please Sweetums can we, he almost begged. Jinki was a big softie and couldn’t say no to those beautiful eyes and pouty lips. “I could have carried my backpack Sweetums.”

           Jinki glanced over with a little smile, hands swinging between them. “I know. You carried it all day, I just want to give you a break.”

           “But your back.”

           “It’s getting better,” Jinki grinned, pulling him to a stop as the walk sign turned to red. “You need to look where you’re going Baby boy.”

           "If you didn’t have such a pretty smile I wouldn’t have been so distracted.”

           “Oh, we’re blaming my smile now are we?” Jinki softly asked, tugging him close and brushing noses as their eyes softened. They pressed a kiss to Jonghyun’s lips, warm and slow, enjoying the sweet taste of his strawberry chapstick. “Are you sure it’s not your lack of focus, Baby boy?”

           “Sue me, I have a pregnant brain.” He stuck his tongue out, causing Jinki to laugh before pulling away because the walk sign flashed again.

           “We both know that’s not a real thing.”

           “It sure is!” He protested, brows furrowing as he tried to figure out the words to explain what he meant. He pouted deeply when the words escaped him. “Shut up! It’s a thing dammit.”

           “You’re adorable.” Luckily this late at night, there weren’t many people out on the street as it would have been if it was during the daytime, but Jinki was still worried about Jonghyun walking home alone. Even before the baby, they were nervous, but now they weren’t about to accept his reassurances that he could do it himself. Jinki was going to walk him home and make sure he was safe. “I can’t wait to have our own place. Imagine, a little space where it’s all our own.”

           “Hopefully we get that apartment right down the street from the university. It’d be nice... If we decide to keep them.” At the baby’s mention, Jonghyun glanced down at his stomach, the small bump covered by the bagginess of the hoodie.

           “How are you feeling?” Came Jinki’s soft question. “I know not wearing your binder was making you a little uncomfortable.”

           “It’s getting better.. I’m still not sure how I’m going to feel about you know my boobs getting bigger for milk, or if we keep them if I want to breastfeed, but I can go through my day at the moment and not think about being seen as too... Feminine.” He stopped walking, causing Jinki’s arm to jar when their hands didn’t let go of the other. Jonghyun’s bottom lip was between his teeth, eyes downcasted, and worry bubbled up in Jinki’s stomach.

           “Hey, Baby boy, what’s wrong?” Jinki’s fingers were soft under his chin as they gently lifted Jonghyun’s face.

           “I haven’t told my mom yet.” Came the softly whispered confession. “I keep wanting to, but I know what she’s going to say and I don’t want it to sway what I really want. I know she’s going to say I should have terminated them, that I shouldn’t keep them, but I don’t know what I want yet, what we want yet, and just thinking about her being upset with me is enough to make me second guess everything.”

           “Oh Baby, Shh,” Jinki’s fingers pushed into his hair, bringing his head against their chest. “We talked about getting an abortion very thoroughly. We were 100 percent sure in that decision. We knew this was going to be hard for you, but please don’t make it harder by second-guessing these hard decisions we’re going to have to make.”

           “She’s going to make me feel like an idiot for getting pregnant at all.” The sound of his voice made Jinki’s heartache.

           “I broke the condom. I got you pregnant.” Jinki swallowed thickly, “This wasn’t supposed to happen. We were careful.”

           “But it did Jinki.”

           “And we’ll handle it.” Jinki hummed, “Look up at the moon for me Baby.”

           Even as he lifted his gaze he was pouting, “Why?”

           “You wanted to walk home so you could see the moon.” Jinki was gazing at his face though, so pretty in the soft glow of the light. “That moon is the same moon we’ve always seen, even as the amount we see changes, as the position changes in the sky, it’s the same moon. The same moon you’ve always loved. You’re my moon.”

           Jonghyun’s gaze slowly fell to meet Jinki’s, at their sweet loving smile, and he breathed out quickly, “What?”

           “We’ve been through a lot, haven’t we?” When Jonghyun nodded, Jinki continued. “When we met you went by a different name and both of us different pronouns. We’ve found ourselves together. We made it through that, telling both our parents and friends. We’ll make it through this too. Whatever we decide.”

           "I just-” Jonghyun’s bottom lip was trembling, “I love them you know, even now, I love them. And I want the best for them, but I’m not sure if that’s a life with us or with another family.”

           “I love them too.” Jinki slowly smiled, palm pushing under the hoodie to rest against Jonghyun’s stomach. “What about living with us makes you unsure if you want to keep them?”

           “We’re in college Jinki.” Jonghyun began. His brow furrowed for a moment before he continued. “Not many people would be too hip on two people with gender identities outside of the norm raising a child genderless.”

           “Besides college,” Jinki pushed a strand of his hair behind his ear, “Is there a reason you don’t want to keep that that doesn’t have to do with what other people would approve of?”

           The question gave Jonghyun pause, eyes falling from Jinki’s face to stare at the design of their coat. After a few moments, he softly replied, “No. No.. there isn’t.”

           “They’re our Baby. It’s our life.” Jinki smiled brightly when Jonghyun looked back up at him. “As long as you know, whether you breastfeed or not, return on hormones or not, get the top surgery you want or not, is all up to you, there’s no reason we cannot work to take care of this baby. They may have been unplanned, but as you said, they aren’t unloved.”

           “Our life, huh?” He mumbled, thinking out loud. When he smiled up at Jinki, his entire face was open and bright. “You really think we could do it?”

           “Yes. Complete faith.” Jinki bumped Jonghyun’s nose with their own. “Come, let’s get home. It’s a little cold, and we don’t have to have a set decision yet.”

           After a while, Jonghyun was leaning his head against Jinki, their arm tight around his small body. Soon enough they were stepping up the front porch, pressing a kiss to Jonghyun’s hair. Before heading inside Jonghyun pressed up to kiss them. He stopped in the doorway and turned back, “Hey Sweetums?”

           “Hmm?” Jinki’s eyebrows shot up.

           “Thanks,” When confusion flashed over their features Jonghyun laughed a little, “For having more faith in me than I have in myself.”

           “Always.” Jinki was so soft, leaning against the pillar next to the stairs. “I love you Baby boy.”

           “I love you too, Sweetums.”

           “Call me later~ You were really beautiful tonight.”

           With pink cheeks, Jonghyun replied, “I’ll call you, as always.”


	2. Love Belt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re my love belt, hold me tight, Hold me in this nervous world (please hold me)
> 
> You’re my love belt, you know I’m shaking with anxiety, Hold my hand

            With a small whoop sound, Jinki rose their arms in excitement. Jonghyun looked up from his spot in the rocking chair folding close and laughed at how happy Jinki looked. “I’ve conquered the beast.”

            “I’m not sure if a crib could be considered a beast Sweetums.” Jonghyun placed the blanket in the basket to his right, bending down a little harder with how big he was this far along.

            Jinki pouted deeply, arms lowered as they said, “I spent a week figuring out how to read these stupid instructions. It’s a beast.”

            “If you so deem it Sweetums.”

            “I do!” Jinki’s head leaned to the side as they gazed at their partner knowingly. “Are they kicking you again?”

            “No- I think they’re moving.”

            “Moving?”

            “As in.. rotating for ya know,” Jonghyun ran his hands over his stomach, swallowing thickly. “Birth.”

            “You are almost 36 weeks Baby.”

            “Yeah.. yeah I know that.” He nervously laughed, “I guess it’s just hitting me what comes next.”

            While he was gazing at his stomach he had failed to notice Jinki moving closer, removing the baskets from in front of him, and kneeling between his legs. Their hands covered Jonghyun’s, a soft smile upon their face. “Shortly, we’ll get to meet our Misunnie. As nervous and anxious as I am about being a parent... I know whatever we come across we’ll get through it.”

            “How can you be so sure?”

            “Because your hand will be in mine always.” Jinki pressed a kiss to his belly, smiling as big as they could. “Going into this next part of this you’re going to be going through a lot. I understand how nervous you are, how it’s different than my nervousness, but I want to know that you understand whatever happens I’ll be here.”

            “I know you will be.”

            “Promise you’ll talk to me if you’re too uncomfortable with anything.” Jinki’s brows furrowed. “And I mean anything. If they misgender you I’ll correct them.”

            The corner of Jonghyun’s lips quirked up as he lifted his hand to cup Jinki’s jaw. “You know they will. To them, I’m an expecting mother.”

            Jinki moved to kiss Jonghyun’s palm. “All you have to do is tell me to do it and I will.”

            “Thank you,” He gave a little laugh before wiggling his fingers. “I wish to sit up and kiss you can you assist me?”

            With a soft snort, Jinki did as they were asked. Once Jonghyun was on the edge of the rocker Jinki smiled. “Is that better?”

            “Perfect.” He gave them a sweet few kisses before quietly saying. “Don’t worry about correcting them. I’ll need you by my side the entire time.”

            “Aye Aye Captain.” When Jonghyun kissed their nose Jinki’s face scrunched.

            “You know, we have to put these clothes away.”

            “I thought that was your half of the bargain.” Jinki squinted. “I got the crib and you got the clothes.”

            “Mmm, yes.” Jonghyun twirled a piece of Jinki’s hair around his finger. “But my feet hurt a lot and my back from you know carrying your baby.”

            “Are you guilting me?” Jinki asked playfully.

            “Possibly.”

            “Uh huh.” Jinki kissed him sweetly, squeezing his chin softly after sticking their tongue out. “Just because I love you.”

            Jonghyun beamed, leaning back comfy in his chair, rocking as he watched Jinki move around the room to put the folded clothes and blankets in their right places along the room. “You look hot though Sweetums.”

            Jinki looked over their shoulder after pushing the cloth bin full of socks back on the shelf. “Flattery will get you everywhere.”

            He snorted.

—--

            Jinki pressed a kiss to Jonghyun’s forehead, letting the man squeeze their hand until their fingers were white. “I can’t do this Jinki. I can’t-”

            They caressed his jaw, causing him to look at them as they smiled. Jinki wiped his forehead with their hand, pushing back his sweat-damp hair. “I know it’s bad baby, but you’re almost there.”

            As the pain subsided for a moment Jonghyun sobbed quietly, nuzzling his head into Jinki’s shoulder. “Don’t leave... After- don’t leave.”

            “I won’t. I’m always here.” They caressed his hair a few times as they shared a glance at the doctor down below. “This is it, Baby. Just one more big push okay?”

            Just when he thought he couldn’t do it anymore the wail cut through the air and he felt as if he could breathe again.

—--

            In Jinki’s arms, freshly changed and dressed in their going home outfit, was Misun. Jonghyun had watched fondly as Jinki had put the clothes on the small babe. Just over 6 lbs, a head full of hair, and the cutest little nose. Jinki held Misun up with the brightest smile. They had been so amused at the little overalls and matching hate. “Look there Misunnie. It’s Daddy.”

            Jonghyun softly laughed as their baby just opened mouthed at Jinki’s finger gently pressing into their cheek. “It might help if their eyes were open Sweetums.”

            “Mm, well it’s the thought that counts.” Jinki fixed Misun’s hat before walking up towards the head of the bed, to run a hand over Jonghyun’s hair. “Are you ready to go home, Baby boy?”

            “Very.” He played with the hem of Jinki’s shirt he was wearing nervously. “I know I told you not to correct them, but getting misgendered is starting to get to me a little too much.”

            Carefully, Jinki pressed a kiss to Jonghyun’s head before handing him the baby. “Well, let me go get the nurse. I’ve already signed you out and got the packet of home care.”

            Jonghyun ran his thumb over Misun’s little chin before looking up at his partner. “I love you a lot.”

            Jinki grinned. “I love you a lot more.”

—--

            Jonghyun didn’t look up from Misun sleeping in their crib when he heard the footsteps of Jinki coming up the hallway. The door slowly opened, Jinki slipping through the small opening before closing it behind them. They smiled sweetly, as they spoke, “Baby boy.”

            “Hey,” Jonghyun whispered, wrapping his arms tighter around himself, finally looking over at Jinki slowly. He gave a small grin, but he couldn’t foster up more.

            “I went to get the pizza and they told me you came in here to check on Misunnie.” Jinki walked over and carefully knelt in front of him, hands on Jonghyun’ knees. Their eyes were bright and warm, reflecting their understanding. “For a half an hour.”

            “I wasn’t expecting there to be people here, that’s all.” He swallowed thickly.

            “I’m sorry Baby. I didn’t mean to overwhelm you just-” Jinki found his hands tightly in their own. “My parents wanted to see the Baby and so did Kibum and your sister.”

            “No, it’s okay. They’ve all been really sweet and understanding of my space.” Jonghyun took a deep breath, but when he tried to exhale it was broken into pieces as his emotions got the best of him. “My mom isn’t here.”

            “Oh Baby,” Jinki breathed out before they were moving to wrap their arms around his middle, pressing their head into his stomach softly. “I’m sorry.”

            “I left a voicemail on her cell when I went into labor,” He blubbered quietly. “I thought when Misunnie came she’d-”

            Jinki lifted their head, smiling as they wiped Jonghyun’s tears. “If you want to go visit her when you feel a bit better, I’ll get Misunnie all together, and hold your hand the entire time. You’re safe with me always Jonghyun.”

            “I still hear her voice.” Jonghyun bit his lip, trying to stop it from trembling so badly. “Yelling at me... At you. What would we have done if Kibum didn’t allow me to move in with you?”

            “I’d have found another place.” Jinki sounded so sure, so completely sure. “I know that they aren’t the same as your mom, but my family... Your family... Are out there waiting to love you and our child, if you allow them. If you don’t... If you want to stay in here with Misun, I’ll tell them you don’t feel well.”

            It took Jonghyun a moment to softly ask, “Will you hold my hand?”

            Jinki held out theirs, palm up with a huge smile. “Of course.”


End file.
